The loss of a child
by sarahlynn00
Summary: Can Spencer and Emily survive the loss of their baby? Will they stay together and come out the other side stronger? Or will they push each other away and fall apart? On hold for now...
1. Chapter 1

**Hello guys. This is my way of dealing with My sister's resent Miscarriage, so if y'all don't like it I'm sorry. This was just for me and my family as a way to help deal but I thought you guys might like it as well. I will be updating my other story in the next few days, I was going to post Friday but had to be at the hospital with my sister... Anyways onto the story, only gonna be a one-shot inless y'all want more... Let me know what you think.**

Emily walked into the kitchen, holding her slightly swollen stomach. Spencer sat at the kitchen table, head buried in her paper work. "Spencer, it hurts." Spencer's head shot up from her papers in front of her and turned to her wife. Emily had tears streaming down her face. Spencer quickly moved to her pregnant wife and looked for signs of injuries.

"Emily baby, what hurts. talk to me so I can help you."

Spencer looked down at her wife, placing her hand on Emily's stomach. "I'm bleeding Spence."

Spencer's eyes widened as she took her wife into her arms. "We have to get you to the hospital Emily."Spencer whispered moving to find her keys.

Once Spencer had her keys, she got her wife into their SUV, she ran back inside to get clothes for Emily. Spencer called Pam Fields and their best friends, Hanna and Aria, letting them know to meet them at the hospital. Spencer threw the bag into the back seat and got into the SUV with Emily.

"Everything is gonna be okay baby, your mom is on her way and so is Aria and Hanna."

"Did you call you parents?or sister?"Emily asked through tears.

Spencer shook her head no as she started the car.

After being married for three years, they started trying to get pregnant. They had planned for Spencer to carry their first child so Emily could keep training for the U.S. swim team, but Spencer was unable to have children. It broke her heart that she couldn't give her wife what she wanted, without Emily having to give up her dream of being in the olympics.

Spencer pulled out the driveway and sped towards the ER. Spencer took Emily's hand in her's as she drove. "It hurts so bad Spencer." Emily cried out, gripping Spencer's hand tighter. Spencer pushed her SUV as fast as it would go but it didn't seem fast enough for her. "_Why didn't I buy the freaking sports car when I had the chance" _Spencer thought to herself.

Spencer sat in the white hospital room with her wife, waiting on the doctor to come back in and tell the two women what was happening.

Spencer got up from the chair next to the bed and climb in the bed with Emily. "I love you Emily, and I will always love you no matter what happens."Spencer said wrapping her arms around Emily, pulling Emily into her. Emily cried harder into her wife's arms. She had never been so scared in her life and had never been in so much pain.

Spencer was just as scared as Emily, maybe even more. Emily was only 13 weeks along, there was still a chance of a miscarriage. Neither women wanted to think along those lines but the thought of a miscarriage was pushing to the front of Spencer's brain.

"I love you too Spencer."Emily whispered as the doctor came into the room, a grI'm expression on her face. Spencer tightened her arms around Emily as the doctor took the seat Spencer had just left.

"Ladies, I want you to know, that you did nothing and this was not your fault."The doctor paused and took Emily's hand. "You had a miscarriage, I'm so sorry. but there is some good news."

Emily buried her head in Spencer's shoulder and cried harder, harder than she ever cried before. Emily had never felt pain like this before, her whole world has just been crushed, she had dreamed of being mother her whole life. She had wanted to give Spencer a child more than anything. She felt like she was in a nightmare, she just wanted to wake up and see Spencer sleeping next to her, instead of Spencer holding back her tears to be strong for her.

"Good news? We just lost our baby and you say theres good news?"Spencer said raising her voice. Spencer didn't mean to raise her voice. She couldn't help it really, it was the Hastings in her. Turn pain into anger, its the Hastings way.

"What caused the miscarriage?"Emily asked, grabbing Spencer's hand to calm her.

"You have RH negative blood, Your donor had RH positive blood, and when your baby's blood entered your circulation, your body seen this as a foreign body, your body developped antibodies against it, the anitbodies attacked your baby's red blood cells, which proved to be fatal."

"We can prevent the development of RH antibodies the next time you get pregnant, by giving you a shot of Rh-immune globulin, that is the good news Mrs. Hastings, this won't prevent you from having children. After three weeks, you can try to get pregnant again, you just have to get s shot as soon as you find out your pregnant again."

Spencer buried her face in her wife's neck, trying her hardest not to cry. Spencer was blaming herself forthe miscarriage, she had be the one to pick the donor. _"Why did I pick him? Why didnt I know this could happen?Why didn't I prevert this from happening? Why did I let this happen to my Emmy?" _Spencer thought to herself, trying to calm herslef but failing.

"Stop beating yourself up for this Spence, this isn't your fault."Emily whispered into her wife's ear. Emily knew her wife better than she knew herself, she knew Spencer was blaming herself for this, even if they both knew it wasn't her fault.

"I'm going to get your mom okay?"Spencer stood and gave Emily a kiss before leaving the room. She wouldnt let Emily see her cry, she would be strong for Emily. Spencer knew Emily would need her to be strong.

Spencer slowly made her way to the waiting room, where Pam, Aria, Hanna and Spencer's parents were waiting. As soon as Spencer stepped foot into the waiting room, Pam rushed towards her.

"Is my baby girl okay?"She asked.

"She's fine, but she needs you, she had a miscarriage."Spencer whispered tears forming in her eyes.

"It's not fair, how could God do this to her, how could He let people who do drugs, people who don't take care of the kids they already have, have more but my Emily got hers taken away from her. She desvered that baby, that's all she ever wanted, she just wanted to be a mother and God took that away from her. how could He be so crule?"Spencer cried, falling into her mother-in-law's arms.

Pam cried with her daughter-in-law, she believed in God, her faith is one of the only things she was sure of but even she couldn't understand why God would give her baby girl, hope of a child then take it away from her.

"Emily needs you, but please don't tell her about my breakdown."Spencer whispered.

Pam nodded her head and handed Spencer over to her mother.

Pam left the waiting room in search of Emily, while mrs. Hastings held her daughter as she cried."It's gonna be okay baby, Emily's heathy that's all that matters right now."

Spencer shook her head at her mother's words. It wasn't gonna be okay, both women were broken, they lost their first child before then even got to see or hold them. They would never heal from this. They would always be scared, that they'd lose another baby if they were to try again.

Spencer moved from her mom's arms and into Hanna's. "Spencer, I'm so sorry, I can't image what you and Emily are going through but know that Aria and I are here for you."

"Spence, Emily needs you, she doesn't need her mom, she needs her wife, you can't leave her side just cause you don't want her to see you cry. You don't have to strong, you just have to be there for her."Aria said as she wiped her tears away then Spencer's.

Spencer nods her head and removes herself from Hanna's embrace. After getting hugs from Aria and her father, Spencer made her way back to Emily's room.

Emily sat up in her bed, wrapped in her mothers arms. Spencer opened the door and Emily got off the bed and walked into Spencer's waiting arms. "I'm sorry I left Em, I didn't want you to see me break down, I wanted to be strong for you but I know now that I just need to be here for you."Spencer whispered to her wife, kissing her head.

Emily looked up at her wife and wipped away the tears that fell from her eyes. "I wish I could turn back time, and bring our baby back."Spencer paused and placed her hands on Emily's empty stomach. "I wish I could fix the problem, so we could have our baby and be a family, you desever a family Emily and I promise you, you'll have one."

**So I'm ending it here, I could write more to it if you guys want. I'm sorry if it wasn't very good. This made my sister and I feel a little better. Anyways let me know what you guys think. Thank you for reading.**


	2. Chapter 2

**I am continuing this for Pinkcrazyness and Heather J, thank you guys for reading and reviewing, means a lot. I know where I'm going with this story and have everything all planned out in my head, just have to write it all out. Thanks to everyone else who read the first chapter. Hope y'all enjoy this chapter :)**

**Two days later...**

Spencer sighed and rolled over in bed once again. She hasn't slept more than two hours since losing the baby. After tossing and turning for over an hour, she slowly removes herself from Emily and got out the bed. She pulled a t-shirt over her head and walked down to the kitchen.

Spencer poured herself a glass of wine and sat down at the island, that was in the middle of the brightly colored kitchen. She sighed once again, put her head in her hands and started to cry. She felt so helpless, she didnt know how to help her wife, how to ease any of the pain, or how to make things better. Spencer always knew how to handle everything that was thrown at her, even as a teenager but not this time. She didn't know what hurt worse, losing their baby or not being able to take Emily's pain away. She never seen Emily cry so much, not even when her Dad passed away.

"Spencer."Emily whispered from behind her. Spencer quickly wiped her tears and turned to Emily, giving her a small smile. Emily took the seat next to Spencer and grabbed her wife's hand in her own. "Why did you leave the bed?"Emily asked wiping a stray tear that fell from Spencer's eye. "I couldn't sleep and didn't want to wake you, but I woke you upp anyways, I'm sorry."

"Baby, its okay I don't mind you waking me up."Emily said kissing Spencer's hand.

Spencer gave her another small smile before her tears started to fall again. Emily pulled Spencer into her arms and tried not to cry herself. She had cried so much the past few days, while Spencer stayed strong and held her as she cried. It was her turn to be strong for her wife and to let Spencer cry it all out. Crying had made Emily feel a little better, but what made her feel whole again was when she was wrapped in Spencer's arms. She wondered if it was the same for Spencer.

"I feel so helpless and worthless, because I don't know how to help you, because while I try to act strong for you, I'm just as broken on the inside as you. Not being able to have kids and not being able to give you what you've always wanted almost killed me inside, but that's nothing compared to losing our first baby, I feel like a part of me died two days ago, I just wanted us to have the family we always dreamed of, is that to much to ask for?"Spencer cried into Emily's chest.

Emily was no longer able to hold her tears in. She cried at the sound of Spencer's sobs and the pain they both felt. The pain felt as if it would never fade or ease. "We'll have that family Spencer, while I'm scared to death of losing another baby, I'm not giving up, I want a family, I want children and that what I'm going to have, what we're going to have."Emily whispered in Spencer's ear, wiping away more tears.

"I love you Emily Hastings." Spencer said, smiling through her tears. Emily placed her fingers under Spencer's chin and lifted her wife's head up to stare into the deep brown orbs she fell in love with. Emily brushed Spencer brunette hair out her face and placed a kiss on her forehead. "I love you too Spence so much and I know we'll get through this."

"Even though we never got to meet you, never got to see you or hold you, we still love you and we will always love you. You were taken away from us before you have a chance to live, to smile, to laugh, to cry and to love, while it seems so unfair, we know its okay because your safe in Heaven. You are safe in God's arms and the arms of our family you joined in Heaven. One day we will get the chance to hold you, One day you will get to see your parents smiling faces as they hold you and tell you how much they love you. You will forever be loved and missed Baby Hastings, and you will never be forgotten." Aria spoke to the few people that gathered around her.

The Hasings along with , Aria, Ezra, their 5 month old baby girl, Hanna, Caleb and their 5 year old were at the park, setting ballons off to represent their Angle making its way to Heaven to be with God and Emily's father.

Hanna stepped to up next the Aria and looked down at the paper in her hand.

"We will never understand the pain your going through, we will never understand what its like to lose a child, Nothing we say will make things okay or bring your baby back but you two will get through this and will be stronger when its over. You two are the strongest people I know, you two are the perfect couple, if anyone can make it through this its y'all. We'll always be here for you no matter what, we're just a phone call away. We love you and we pray that God will ease the pain." Hanna wiped her tears away and hugged Emily and Spencer.

"Thank you Hanna and you too Aria."Spencer said hugging her best friends.

"We love you Baby Hastings, forever and always."Emily whispered as she let go of her ballon. Spencer let her's go as well then pulled her wife in a hug. Tears escaped Spencer's eyes as she watched the ballons float higher and higher into the sky. "I love you Em."Spencer whispered in Emily's hair, kissing her wifes head.

Before Emily could tell Spencer she loved her too, a five year old ran into their legs from behind hugging them. "Aunt Spemily, Momma says I can't stay the night tonight."Catherine Jill Rivers pouted to her Aunts. Catherine called them Aunt Spemily when she was talking to both her Aunts and Spencer and Emily loved it, it always made them smile.. Every other weekend Catherine would stay the weekend with Spencer and Emily. It started when she was one and they haven't missed a weekend since.

"And why not?"Spencer asked looking over at Hanna. Spencer picked Catherine up and put her on her shoulders. Catherine giggled and smiled down at Emily, who smiled back up at her. "Because of everything that's happened this week."Hanna said walking over to Spencer, with Caleb right behind her.

"We're not missing a weekend."Emily said.

"What kind of snacks to you want Cath?"Emily asked pushing the shopping cart down the cookie aisle. "Ummm, animal crackers and skittles."Cath said from her place on Spencer's back. "Chocolate chip cookies."Spencer said grinning at her wife. Emily shakes her head at Spencer. Her wife always ate a lot of junk food and never gained a pound, something Emily wished she could do. "I didn't know I asked you."Emily smirked at Spencer, leaning over to kiss her wife's cheek.

Emily watched Spencer run down the aisle and spin around with Catherine still on her back, laughing along with Spencer. A smile tugged at her lips and tears filled her eyes. Spencer would be a great mother, She's great with kids, bonds with them easily, knows how to make them laugh, smile and knows how to make them feel better when their upset. Emily loved seeing this side of Spencer, this side of Spencer always made her heart skip a beat and made tears fill her eyes, happy ones of course.

Spencer was destined to be a mother and Emily was going to do everything in her power to make Spencer one.

**There you guys go, chapter two :) I really hoped y'all enjoyed. All mistakes are mine. Thank you for reading and don't forget to review :) I love all you readers, until next time...**


	3. Chapter 3

Emily woke up to a dark and quiet living room. She had fallen asleep during the movie they had been watching. Usually Spencer would carry her to their bedroom and put her into bed. Emily stood up from the couch and walked over to the stair case. She took the stairs two at a time, listening out for Spencer and Catherine. She checked the bedroom Catherine always slept in but came up empty.

She moved passed the nursey, not wanting to look in there and have it remind her of what she lost. Just as she walked passed the door, she heard Catherine's voice on the other side. "Spence?"Catherine asked unsure. "Yes Cath?"

"Is Aunt Emily going to be okay?She's so sad, when she smiles it doesn't light up her eyes like it used to, she crys when your not looking or you not around, I know she lost the baby and I might not fully understand that but I'm worried about her, I don't like seeing her cry."Catherine whispered.

Emily pushed the door open and watched Spencer wrap Catherine in her arms."Your smart for a five year old, you know that? She's hurting Cath and its going to take some time for her to heal but she'll be okay. I dont like to see her or you cry."Spencer whispered to the little girl in her arms.

Emily stayed in the door way and watch the two brunette. "Do you think Emily will like it?"Spencer asked turning towards the wall. Emily looked at the wall as well. Spencer and Emily had painted the far wall into a sunset when they found out Emily was pregnant. The orange sun was in the middle of the wall, surrounded by rays of pink, yellow and orange. There were light purple clouds around the sun, it look just like the sunset on the day of their wedding.

Emily noticed hands painted up at the top, and in the strong white hands was a little baby with angle wings cruled up. "I love it."Emily whispered stepping to the room move. She was at a lost for words. The sunset alone was beautiful and adding the hands of God and the baby angle made it breathtakingly beautiful.

Spencer and Catherine turned around to face Emily. Both girls had paint on their face and hands, as well as their clothes. Spencer wiped her hands on her jeans and moved to Emily. "You should be asleep."She whispered and kissed the top of her wife's head. "You're the one who needs the sleep."Emily said hugging Spencer.

Catherine watched her two Aunts with a smile on her face. Her Aunts were like second parents to her, while she loved her Aunt Aria and Uncle Ezra, she felt closer to Spencer and Emily. She spent more time with them and had bonded with Spencer, over her love for learning, and she bonded with Emily over her love for swimming. All her favorite memories had her two Aunts in them.

"I can't wait to find a love like your's."Catherine said as her Aunts started to dance to no music. They always danced together even when there was no music. They never got into fights and they always put the other first no matter what. At five years old, Catherine knew that, the love Spencer and Emily shared was true love and she knew that was the kind of love she wanted.

"Well kiddo, you've got a long time before you find it, not everyone is as lucky as us to find their true love at sixteen."Emily said. She stopped dancing with Spencer and walked over the Catherine. "But don't worry, you'll find the person you're meant to spend the rest of your life with one day."Spencer said picking Catherine up.

"Come on it late, let's get you to bed, tomorrow we'll go out for breakfast then maybe go to the lake or the zoo."Spencer said carrying Catherine out the nursey and into the guest bedroom. Emily followed them into the room, pulling paint free clothes out for Catherine to change into, and then started to wipe the paint from the little girl then her wife. "Goodnight Cath, I love you."Emily said kissing Catherine's forhead and tucking her into bed. Spencer kissed her forehead as well, walking to the bedroom door. "I love you Cat."Spencer said and turned the light out.

Spencer left the door open and left the hall light on then headed down the stairs with Emily. Emily walked into the living room and started cleaning up all the junk food and drinks. Spencer came up behind Emily and wrapped her arms around the shorter women. In high school Emily had been taller than Spencer but after Spencer turned 18, she went from 5'8 to 6'2, now a few inches taller than her wife.

"This can wait till tomorrow, come lay in bed with me I want to hold you."Spencer whispered in Emily's ear, then began kissing a trail down her neck. Emily pulled out of Spencer's embrace and pulled Spencer up to their bedroom.

Spencer pulled off her clothes and went to find a big t-shirt in their huge closet, while Emily slipped on some slik boxer and a tank top. Emily climbed into the bed and waited for Spencer. Spencer crawled into the bed next to her wife, she laid back and opened her arms for Emily to crawl into. Emily cuddled into Spencer's side, her arm thrown over Spencer's stomach and her leg laying across Spencer's knees. Spencer wrapped an arm around Emily's waist and pulled her closer. Both women sighed contently and closed their eyes. They loved nothing more than being in each other's arms.

"I'm sorry we lost the baby Spencer."Emily whispered into the dark room. "It wasn't your fault love, we'll try again in the future."Spencer said running her fingers through Emily's soft locks of hair. "I don't know if I can go through that pain again Spencer."Emily said crying softly. Spencer's heart clenched at the fear in Emily's voice.

Spencer sat up and pulled Emily into her lap facing her. "No more tears tonight my love, I want to see your smile, the one I fell in love, the one that lights up your beautiful brown eyes and causes a dimple on your right cheek."Spencer whispered running her fingers over Emily's right cheek, where her dimple would be. "I love you Emily, and there's no need to worry about trying to have more kids right now, just heal Emmy that's all I want right now."

Emily smiled down at her wife and captured her lips in a soft kiss, that Spencer quickly deepened. Emily tangled her fingers in Spencer's hair, bringing her wife closer. Spencer broke the kiss and trailed kisses down Emily's neck and across her collarbone.

"Together for 15 years and I still never get tried of kissing you."

Spencer kissed Emily again then laid Emily down beside her. "Go to sleep my love."She whispered pulling the covers over Emily's body. Emily pulled Spencer down next to her and laid her head on Spencer's chest. Spencer's arms went around Emily and pulled her closer, kissing her wife's head. "I love you Emily."Spencer whispered into the dark and quiet room. "I love you too."

**Hope you guys enjoyed this update. I know it's short but most the chapters for this story will be, makes it easier to write and I can get updates out quickier. I'm sorry if there are any mistakes. Please review and let me know what you think. Would y'all like to see into the girls past? See how they got together? Let me know what you want to see. Thank you for reading and review the last chapter. **


	4. Chapter 4

"Aunt Spencer, its time to get up."Catherine sang jumping up and down on the bed next to Spencer. Spencer groaned and pulled a pillow over her head. "Come one Aunt Spencey I'm hungry and Aunt Emily said we can't go get something to eat if you don't get up and shower."Catherine said pulling the pillow off her Aunt's head.

Catherine pulled the pillow over her head and then hit Spencer with it. Spencer bolts up, grabbing Catherine by her leg and pulled her down on to the bed. Spencer smirked at the shock look on Catherines face and then started to tickle her. "No Spencer stop please!"Catherine squealed, trying to wiggle away from Spencer's fingers.

"Spencer, leave her alone and get in the shower."Emily said from the door way, smiling at the two girls on the bed. Spencer stops tickling Cath and jumps out of bed. "Yes Ma'ma."Spencer said saluting her wife and marching into the master bathroom. Catherine and Emily bust out in a fit of giggles at Spencer's actions.

"Aunt Emily, how did you meet Spencer?"Catherine asked as they waited for Spencer down stairs. Emily smiled and got a faraway look in her eyes as she remember the night her life changed.

_"Hanna I'm going to go for a walk, come get me when you're ready."Emily said leaving her bestfriend and walking outside. Emily walked towards the lake, breathing in the fresh air, glad to be away from the smell of smoke and alcohol from the party she was dragged to. Emily sat down on the dock, slipped her shoes off and let her feet hang in the water. Emily wasn't much of a party girl but she came to the biggest party of the year because her bestfriend since preschool begged her too._

_Emily sighed contently taking in the beautiful sight of the full moon's reflection on the water. "What is a beautiful girl like you doing sitting out here alone, instead of enjoying the party?"A husky female voice asked from behind Emily, coming to sit down next to her. Emily turned to see a stunning brunette smiling at her. Emily felt like her world had stopped when she looked at the brunette, her heart raced, her breath caught in her throat, her knees felt weak, it felt like there were butterflies in her stomach._

_"I didn't mean to scare you, I'm Spencer."Spencer said holding her hand out for Emily to shake. "Emily."She replied taking Spencer's hand in her own, trying to ignore the spark she felt when they touched. "Emily."Spencer repeated liking the way the girl's name felt on her tongue. "How come you're out here?"Emily asked unable to stop from staring at the beautiful girl next to her. "I don't know many people, I just moved here last week, what about you?"_

_"Not much for parties, I came here with my bestfriend but she's busy making out with some guy."Emily said laying back on the dock, choosing to stare at the stars instead of Spencer. She didn't want to freak the girl out by staring, not many people accept that she's gay. "Would you like to take a walk with me Emily."Spencer asked standing up, smiling down at Emily. "I would love to."Emily said standing up as well. _

_Spencer takes Emily's hand as they walk along the shore of the lake. "This doesn't bug you does it?"Spencer asked bringing their joined hands up and into view. "Not at all."Emily said. grinning at their joined hands. Emily felt drawn to the girl next to her, she wanted to know everything about the beautiful brunette._

"We met at a party."Emily said smiling at the memory of meeting her wife. After that night Spencer and Emily spent most of their time together. Six months after that night at the lake, they started dating and they haven't looked back since.

Catherine walked over to her Aunt and hugged her. "I'm happy you're smiling again Aunt Em."

Emily smiled down at Cat and picked her up. "Me too."Emily whispered. "And I'm happy my favorite girls are happy."Spencer said wrapping both girls in her arm and kissing their heads.

"So where are we going?"Spencer asked. "The Zoo!"Catherine yelled. "We're right here Cat, no need to yell."Emily laughed. Spencer picked up her keys from the coffee table, along with her purse. "Go get your coat Cath, and hurry I'm hungry."Spencer said grabbing a coat for her wife.

"Chocolate chip pancakes all around, with three side orders of bacon."Spencer said sipping her coffee. "And more chocolate milk."Catherine said smiling at the waitress. "Of course sweetheart." The waitress walks away and comes back a minute later with three glasses of chocolate milk and a cup of coffee. "Here you go Emily."The waitress said touching Emily's arm and smiling at her.

Spencer looked up from her paper and eyed the over friendly waitress. "You do know Emily will never leave Aunt Spencer for you right? They love each other and they have been through more together than you can ever begin to imagine, their married and their happy, Spencer won't think twice about kicking your ass, so fuck off."Catherine said giving the waitress the famous Hanna glare.

Emily's mouth dropped in shocked and Spencer choked on her coffee, trying to suppress a laugh. "I'm sorry Alice, I don't know what came over her."Emily said giving the waitress a small smile, causing Spencer to roll her eyes. "It's fine Emmy."Alice said giving Emily a flirty smile and running a finger down Emily's chest. Emily sighs and pushes her chair back away from Alice.

"Leave Alice."Spencer growled through clenched teeth. Alice put her hands up and walked away from the table. "Let's go we'll get something on the way to The Zoo."Spencer said standing and dropping some money on the table before walking out the diner and getting in her car. Emily sighed and followed Catherine and her wife to their car.

An hour later the three brunettes were walking around The Zoo, talking about all the different animals. "Look at the Lion Aunt Spencer, she's cleaning her baby."Catherine said pulling Spencer towards the lions. Spencer bent down beside Catherine and watched the lions.

"When did you fall in love with Aunt Emily?"Catherine asked staring up at Spencer. Spencer looked down at her and smiled. "The second I laid eyes on her, she was so beautiful under the glow of the full moon, I knew when I saw her that I had to make her mine, it took me six months to do so but I did." Spencer said, remembering all the ups and downs her and Emily faced when they were teenagers.

Spencer had thought they would never make it when they were younger but their love for each other was strong enough to over come anything.

"Cath, when you grow up and you find the one you're truly in love with, don't let them go okay? You fight for them no matter what, you put them first and you love them with everything you have, because only when your soul mate is happy are you truly happy. Promise me you'll do that okay?"Spencer said staring out into nothing.

"I promise Aunt Spencer."

"Good, life is hard but love... love makes life worth living."

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Thank you for reading and reviewing the last chapter, you guys are amazing. If it wasn't clear, things in itailc were flashbacks. I hope y'all like Catherine because she is a big part of the story. So review maybe? and let me know what you think? :) Thanks again guys...**


	5. Chapter 5

_Spencer sighed as she watched Emily dance with her girlfriend of two months. She watched as Taylor whispered something to Emily, causing her to laugh. Spencer sighed once again and downed the rest of her beer. Spencer longed to be the one to make Emily laugh like that, she longed to be the one that got to kiss Emily, she longed to be the one Emily loved. Spencer was in love with the first friend she made when she moved to Rosewood and had lost her chance to be with Emily._

_"Here drink this it's stronger."Hanna said handing Spencer a cup of Crown and Coke. "Thanks Han."Spencer said drinking half the cup. "Why do you sit here and torture yourself?"Hanna asked looking over at the couple Spencer has been staring at since she arrived at the party. "If you just tell her how you feel, then that could be you."_

"_I don't want to risk our friendship Han, I'm in love with her but I can't bear the thought of losing her."Spencer whispered feeling tears prick at her eyes. "Besides, she loves Taylor and she's happy with her."_

_"That's where you're wrong Hastings."Hanna said looking away from the couple and back at her friend. "She doesn't love Taylor and she's not happy with her."_

_"What if when I tell her she doesn't feel the same way? What if she hates me and never talks to me again? I can't handle that Hanna."_

_Hanna sighed and shook her head. "If you want to sit here and continue to torture yourself then be my guest but if you want to be with Emily then stop being a pussy and fight for her dammit. I'm sick of seeing you so unhappy Spencer, you've become one of my best friends these past few months and it kills me to see you like this."_

_"Fuck it, I'm going to tell her how I feel."Spencer said finishing her drink and walking over to the dancing couple. "Wait Spencer, I didn't mean now."Hanna yelled to the retreating brunette._

_"Emily can I talk to you for a second."Spencer asked smiling at the taller girl. "Sure Spence, I'll be back Taylor."Emily said kissing her girlfriend's cheek and walking out of the crowded lake house._

_"Emily I'm in love with you..I've never been a believer in lov-"_

"Spencer, are you even listening to me?"Emily asked pulling Spencer out of her memory of the night Hanna became her best friend and the night she told Emily how she felt about her. "Huh baby?"Spencer asked looking up at her livid wife. "Nevermind."Emily said getting up from the table and storming up stairs.

Spencer sighs and goes after Emily. "Baby I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to ignore you."Spencer said as she walked into her bedroom. "Whatever Spencer."

"Emily, come on this isn't like you what's wrong?"Spencer asked taking a seat next to her wife on their bed. Emily looked over at Spencer, unshed tears in her eyes. Spencer quickly wrapped her arms around Emily and pulled her into her lap. "Talk to me baby, what's wrong?"

"I cant stop thinking about it Spence, I'm so depressed and upset that everything, no matter how little sets me off."Emily whispered into Spencer chest. Spencer tighten her grip on Emily and kissed the top of her head. "Em its only been a week, of course you're going to be depressed, I am too I'm just good at hiding it. Baby there's no set time for grieving, its okay to be depressed and upset, just know love that I'm here for you, I love you and we'll get through this together, you and me love forever and always."Spencer whispered into Emily's, tears falling from her own eyes at the sound of Emily's crys.

"I want our baby back Spencer, I want you to be able to come home from work, kiss me then drop to your knees and kiss my stomach and talk to our baby, like you did weeks before this, I want to see your eye shine with love when you talked to our baby, I don't want to hurt anymore."Emily said through heartwreching sobs.

"Let it out, I got you Emmy I got you."

After a while Emily sobs turned to whimpers and she loosened her grip on Spencer. "I'm sorry."Emily whispered sitting up and brushing Spencer's tears away. "Don't ever apologise for letting your feelings out love, why don't I run you a bath?"Spencer said running her fingers through Emily's silky hair. "Only if you join me."

"Anything you want love."Spencer whispered kissing her wife's head before standing and walking into their bathroom.

Spencer started the water and moved around the bathroom, lighting all the candles as the graden tubs fills up. She pours Emily's favorite bubble bath in the tub, then calls Emily into the bathroom. Emily comes in naked and sits on the edge of the tub. Spencer's breaths hitched as she took in her wife's naked form. "I love how even after being together for 15 years, you still take my breath away."Spencer said smiling at her wife and moving to stand between Emily's legs.

"Spencer."

"Hmmm."Spencer hummed, her eyes still roaming over Emily's naked body.

"Take your clothes off."Emily whispered pushing Spencer back and sliding into the warm water. Spencer quickly rid herself of her clothes before joining Emily in the tub. Spencer leaned back against the side of the tub and opened her arms for Emily.

Emily moves into her arms, till she's laying on top of Spencer, her head on Spencer's chest. "So what were you thinking about when you spaced out?"Emily asked running her fingers across Spencer's abs. "The night I told you I was in love with you, do you remember what I said to you?"Spencer asked laying her head on Emily's and closing her eyes. Emily nodded her head, smiling at the memory and at how stupid she was that night.

"Emily I'm in love with you."Spencer whispered. "I've never been a believer in love at first sight but the second I laid eyes on you I knew, I knew that I had to know everything about you, I knew that I had to love you with everything I had, I knew that I couldn't be happy if you weren't, I knew that I was hopelessly in love with you before I even knew you, I knew I had to make you mine but I waited too long and now you're with another and that kills me inside Emily, I'll fight for you, I won't give up because I know we can be something great, because I know you're my soul mate."

Emily wrapped her arms around Spencer's waist and pulled herself closer to Spencer upon hearing the words Spencer had said to her when they were 16. "I was so stupid then, I walked away from you to go back to someone I didn't love, even when I was in love with you, God I was so scared that I would lose you if we didnt work out."Emily said.

"I love you Emily Hastings, and you were never stupid."

**Sorry this took so long to get out, work has been keeping me really busy but I will keep updating both of my stories at least once a week for you guys. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. There will be flashbacks of the girls past in most of the chapters, to show important parts in their lives and just plan cute moments. I will also be writing in more Hanna and Aria because the story has been lacking them a lot and they are a big part of Spemily's life. Big thanks to everyone who read and review this last chapter, I love you guys :)**

**Hunnybear108- I'm happy you're loving the story as well :) I try to please all readers and you make me feel like I'm doing just that, so thank you. I'm not sure what story will be updated the most, I'm trying to keep it at one chapter a week on both, so that way it's kinda even. And yes I know about Fender 18's stories, in my mind you're not a true Spemily fan if you haven't read Secret Truths. Thank you for taking the time to review and read my story, you're amazing :)**

**So everyone review and let me know what you think please? :) Until next week guys, have a good week.**


	6. Chapter 6

Hanna pulled up to the Hastings's house and parked her car out front. She got out the car, her daughter getting out as well and running up to the front door, ringing the door bell a few times. Hanna shakes her head at Catherine and stands next to her little girl. Even though Catherine was here all weekend, she still missed her Aunts and couldn't wait to see them.

Upstairs in the bathroom, Spencer pulled away from her attack on Emily's neck at the sound of the door bell. "Do you think whoever it is will go away if we don't answer?"Spencer asked then returned her lips to Emily's neck. Emily laced her fingers in Spencer hair and a small moan escapes her lips as Spencer bites down on her pulse point.

Spencer's hand trailed down Emily's body, caressing the skin under her fingers. She dragged her hand down to Emily's center, slowly rubbing circles on her wife's clit. Emily's grip tightened on Spencer's hair as more moans escapes her mouth.

"Spencer, Emily we're coming up."Hanna yelled after letting herself in the house with her key.

"We'll be down in a minute."Spencer yelled back, removing her fingers from Emily's clit and kissing her on the nose. Emily groans and kisses Spencer before letting her out the bath. Spencer steps out of the bath and helps Emily out as well, before walking out into their bedroom without a towel. "We'll finish later."Spencer called to Emily as she walked down the stairs.

Hanna and Catherine make their way to the kitchen, Hanna started a pot of coffee while Catherine went looking for something to snack on. "Cat, we're here for dinner no snacks."

"But mom, I'm hungry and Aunt Spencer hasn't started on dinner yet."Catherine pouted, giving her mother her best puppy dog eyes, that always worked on her Aunts. "Yeah, mom I'm hungry and Aunt Spencer haven't started dinner yet."Spencer playfully mocked Catherine as she came into the kitchen, dressed in shorts and a tank top, hair still dripping from the bath.

"Order pizza or something Spencer."Emily said walking in the kitchen as well, dressed much like her other half. A knock came at the door as the three women and Catherine took seats at the island. No one moved to answer the door and a few minutes later, Aria walked into the kitchen, holding Baby Jaiden in her arms, diaper bag hanging off her shoulder. "Let me hold Jaid."Spencer said getting up and walking over to Aria.

Spencer took the three month old in her arms, and smiled at the tiny brunette. She rocked her back and forth, humming to the little girl. "You look just like your mother." Spencer whispered kissing Jaiden's tiny forehead. Spencer ran her fingers through the small patch of brown hair on top Jaiden's head. "I can see her with pink streaks in her hair when she gets older, just like you."Spencer said smiling at Aria.

"You had pink hair?"Catherine asked looking over at Aria. Aria nodded her head yes and moved over to the coffee pot to pour herself and her best friends a cup. "Chocolate milk Cath?"Aria asked. Catherine nodded her head before turning to look over at her mom. "Can I have pink in my hair please?"She asked giving Hanna her famous pout. "Ask your father."

"That's like telling her to ask Spencer for something."Emily laughed.

Spencer looked up from Jaiden and at her wife, a goofy grin on her face. "What? I can't say no to her, she has me wrapped around her little finger and so will this one."Spencer laughed handing Jaiden over to Emily. Spencer kissed Emily on the top of the head and grabbed her cup of coffee from Aria. "What do you guys want for dinner?"Spencer asked.

"Chinese."Everyone said at once, then busted out laughing.

20 minutes later a tall brunette knocked on the Hastings door. She fixed her hair and took in a deep breath. She was nervous, she hadn't seen the woman she was in love with in almost a year. When no one answered the door, she rang the door bell. A minute later, she came face to face with the woman she loved with everything she had.

"Paige, what are you doing her?"Emily asked, blinking a few times not believeing Paige was stupid enough to show up here. "I heard what happened Em, I wanted to make sure you were okay."Paige whispered stepping closer to Emily and cupping her cheek. Emily stepped away from Paige's hand.

"You lost that right a long time ago Paige and if Spencer sees you here, she'll freak."

"You came to me Emily, not the other way around."

"I came to you for you to be a friend, not for you to try and break Spencer and I up. We were going through a hard time and I just needed you to be my friend."Emily said her voice getting louder. "She's not good enough for you Emily and she can't give you what you want, I can, I can give you everything you want and more. Give me that chance Emily, let me make you happy."

"You want to make me happy?"Emily asked. Paige smiled at her and nodded her head. "Then leave and don't come back, I love Spencer and I want to be with her, I'm sorry you don't understand that and I'm sorry this hurts you but I'm not ruining the life and love I have with Spencer for you."Emily whispered as arms wrapped around her waist and a chin came to rest on her shoulder. "Paige, I think it's best you should go inless you want a repeat of what happened last time."Spencer said glaring at Paige.

Paige turned on her heels and walked to her car without saying another word. Spencer and Emily made their way back in to the living room where everyone was watching a movie. "Who was that?"Hanna asked when they sat back down on the couch. "McCullers."

"What did she want?"Aria asked. "To win Emily over and trash talk me of course."Spencer said leaning her head on Emily's shoulder. "If she loves Aunt Emily then why is she trying to break you two up?"Catherine asked staring up at her Aunts. "If you love someone, you're supposed to do everything in your power to make them happy and you make Aunt Emily happy, why ruin that?"

"Because, she only wants to make herself happy that's not real love Cath"Hanna said running her fingers through her daughters hair. "What happened with Paige that makes y'all hate her?"Catherine asked. "It's a long story."

**Okay guys, I was going to post this Tuesday but I got called into work and didn't have to write. I had the week off but kept getting called in because people were sick. So anyways, sorry for this being so late, I will be posting a chapter for my other story soon.**

**Thank you for reading and reviewing the last chapter, thank you for reading this chapter as well. I hope you guys enjoy I know it's short but oh well. I will be getting into what happened with Paige in the next chapter or so. if you have any questions feel free to ask.**

**Hunnybear108- Thank you for all the reviews and for going back and reviewing the other chapters :) you are a truly amazing review and I love all of your reviews. Catherine looks like Hanna just has her fathers hair color. She is also a lot like Spencer but has Hanna's attuide and is loyal just like her mother. There will be a flashback of their wedding but not for a few chapters. My sister is a lot better and is planning on having child soon. Thank you for asking. I hope you enjoy this chapter, I'm not real happy with it but I wanted to get something out. I promise to update They say love is forever soon, just give me some time :) Let me know what you think please? :)**

**Until next time guys, I love you all :)**


	7. Chapter 7

_Emily sat on a bench, in the park waiting for her old college roommate to join her for coffee. Emily needed someone to talk to, that wouldn't go back to Spencer and tell her everything that was going on with Emily._

_Ever since Spencer got a new job with the Philadelphia crime lab as a crime scene investigator, she had been spending more time at work and less at home. Emily couldn't take the long nights away from Spencer. They had only been married for a few years and already, Emily felt as if it was falling apart._

_She didn't know who to turn to, she wanted to save her marriage but she didn't know how. Spencer loved her job, sometimes Emily thought Spencer loved her job more than she loved her wife. It was Spencer's dream job, something she dreamed about since she was a little girl. "shouldn't I be happy that Spencer gets to live out her dream?"Emily thought to herself. Emily just missed her wife and not seeing her was slowly eatting away at her._

_"What's up fields?"Paige McCullers asked taking a seat next to her friend. Paige looked her friend up and down, and her breath was still taken away from her beauty. Paige had fallen in love with Emily when they met in college but Emily didn't feel the same and was with Spencer. Spencer was perfect in Emily's eyes and Paige didn't see why. Paige was bitter about being in love with someone she couldn't have and tried every chance she got to break them up._

_"I need someone to talk to."Emily whispered looking up at her friend. _

_Paige could see the pain in Emily's eyes and hear it in her voice, it broke her heart to see the woman she loved in so much pain. "What is it?"She asked taking Emily's hand in her own. "My marriage is falling apart."_

_Paige tried to keep the grin off her face and excitment out of her voice as she spoke. "What do you mean? Did Spencer hurt you?"She asked bitting down on her lip to keep from smiling. "This is it."She thought to herself. "The fall of Spencer Hastings, not so perfect anymore are you?"_

_"Spencer is always working and I feel like her job is more important to her than me. I miss my wife, I miss spending time with her, I miss her being home long enough to lay around watching movies with me. I miss her touch, I miss her smile, I just fucking miss her."Emily said trying to wipe away the tears that had fallen from her eyes before anyone could see them._

_"You don't deserve that Em, she's not good enough for you, she doesn't treat you right and you deserve someone who will. Emily why stay with her, if she's never there?"Paige asked pulling Emily into a hug. _

_"I love her."_

_"Sometimes love isn't enough Em, why won't you give me a chance? I can make you happy Emily, I can treat you better than her, I swear I can."Paige said leaning into kiss Emily..._

**-oOo- (page breaker)**

_Spencer parked her car next to Emily's and got out, grabbing the lunch she made for the two of them as she got out. Spencer had taken the whole day of to spend it with Emily. She had to fight with her boss for awhile but he had finally caved. Spencer was determined to fix their marriage even if it meant giving up her job. She loved what she did, she loved putting criminals away and bringing families peace of mind and closure but she loved Emily more. She could handle giving up her dream job but she couldn't give up the love she had with Emily._

_Spencer walked towards the bench Emily and Paige sat on, as she got closer she could see Paige lean into kiss her wife. Rage filled Spencer's whole body as she took in the sight. She dropped the lunch in her hand and marched over to the two women. _

_"What are you doing?"Emily asked Paige pushing her away and getting up from the bench. "I'm trying to show you that I'm better for you, that I can be better than Spencer."Paige said following Emily and grabbing her arm, pulling Emily closer to her. "Stop Paige, I love Spencer, she's my wife no matter what happens that's not going to change."Emily whispered trying to pull free from the taller woman's grip. _

_"Let her go Paige."Spencer yelled running to her wife, scared of what Paige would do. _

_Paige didn't listen and kept a firm grip on Emily's arm. "Let me show you Emily."She said pressing her lips to Emily's, holding Emily in place so she couldn't get away. _

_"Paige! I said let her go."Spencer said, now standing a few feet away from them, pulling her standard issue Beretta 9mm pistol out of it's holster and pointing it at Paige. Spencer had seen enough crime scenes to know that things could go wrong in a matter of seconds and she wasn't going to take a chance on Emily getting hurt in any way. _

_Emily's heart raced at seeing Spencer point her gun at Paige. Paige had scared her but now she was scared for Paige. She knew that Spencer would shoot Paige if she had to, Spencer would do anything to protect Emily and all three women knew, Spencer wouldn't think twice about killing someone to protect her wife._

_"Are you going to shoot me Hastings?"Paige laughed. "I will if you don't let Emily go."_

_"I don't believe you."_

_"Paige don't test her."Emily begged. Paige let go of Emily and stepped away. Spencer placed her pistol back in it's holster and stepped towards Paige._

_As she tried to walk away, Spencer grabbed her arm and spun her around, slamming her fist into Paige's nose. _

_"If you ever come near Emily again, I swear I will shoot you."Spencer said letting go of Paige and stepping over to Emily. "Are you okay?"Spencer asked her wife, pulling her into a bone crushing hug. Emily nodded, burying her head in Spencer's neck._

**-oOo-**

Emily looked over at the sleeping form of her wife and smiled. Even when they were having problems, Spencer was always there to save her and that's something Emily will always be grateful for.

Tonight was the first time Emily had seen Paige since the day she had kissed her. Emily missed her friend but not enough to cause problems with her and Spencer. Spencer meant everything to Emily and she wasn't going to risk losing her.

"Stop staring, it's creepy."Spencer mumbled in her sleepy voice, that Emily found cute and sexy at the same time. Spencer rolled over to face Emily, a sleepy smile on her face. "It's hard not to stare at something so beautiful."Emily whispered before pressing her lips to the lips of the half asleep woman's next to her. Spencer tangled her fingers in Emily's hair, pulling her closer and deepening the kiss.

"Thank you."Emily whispered against Spencer's lips. Spencer pulled back from Emily and gave her a confused look. "For?"She asked wrapping her arms around Emily.

Emily laid her head on Spencer's chest and intertwined their fingers. "Always being there for me and protecting me all the time, I don't know what I would do without you Spencer. You mean the world to me and I love you."

"I'll always be here for you and I'll always protect you Em, I love you too."Spencer whispered kissing Emily again. The kiss quickly heated up and clothes were shed and thrown around the room, landing in different places.

Spencer pinned Emily to the bed and move down to suck on Emily's pulse point. Emily's hand trailed down Spencer's back, digging her nails into the soft skin under her fingers. Spencer moaned into Emily's neck at the pain and pleasure of the nails digging into her back.

Spencer's fingers danced at Emily's side, her thumb brushing the underline of Emily's breasts before cupping her breasts. Spencer leaned down taking one of Emily's hardened nipples in her mouth, as she pinched and rolled the other with her fingers. Emily closed her eyes and bit her lip, letting the feeling of Spencer's hot mouth on her wash over her.

Spencer's tongue lashed at the hardened bud in her mouth as she removed her hand from her wife's breast and slipped it down between their bodies and inside Emily's shorts. "Spence.."Emily moaned out as Spencer teased her clit. Spencer smirked at her and crashed her lips to Emily's once more as her fingers toyed with her wife's clit.

Emily bucked up into Spencer's hand, as Spencer continued to tease her. "Spencer please."Emily begged. Spencer trailed kisses down Emily's body, stopping every few seconds to suck and nip at her skin. Emily squirmed under Spencer's touch and gasped when Spencer's hot breath hit her slick, wet folds.

Spencer's tongue darted out and took a slow, long lick through Emily's wet lips, moaning at the sweet taste of her wife. Emily threw her head back as Spencer drew her clit into her mouth and easily slipped two fingers in Emily's center. Emily's hip meet Spencer's thrust, in a steady pace slowly bringing her over the edge.

"Spence... harder."Emily whispered breathlessly, gripping Spencer's hair and pulling her closer to her need. Spencer looked up at her wife and added a third finger, building a faster and harder pace. "You're so sexy."Spencer said moving up Emily's body and meeting her lips in a kiss. "So tight and so so wet."

Emily's moans filled the quiet room as she drew closer to her orgasm. Spencer brought her thumb up and rubbed Emily's clit as her pace quickened and she kissed down Emily's neck. "Cum for me baby."Spencer whispered bitting down on Emily's neck. Emily's walls tightened around Spencer's fingers as waves of pleasure ripped through her body. Spencer continued to trust her fingers in and out of Emily, drawing out her orgasm.

Emily's body jerked with the after shocks as her breathing evened out. Spencer removed her fingers from inside Emily and laid beside her. Spencer kissed Emily's forehead and pulled her into a tight embrace.

"I love you."Spencer whispered.

"Mmmm, I love you too."Emily mumbled, sleep quickly taking over her body.

**Okay guys, what do you think? This chapter took awhile to write and I'm not sure I did a good job on the sex scene. Good or bad, I hope y'all enjoyed it. Thank you for reading and review the last chapter, you guys rock. :) Thank you for reading this chapter as well. **

**My thoughts and prayers are still with those dealing with hurricane Sandy, I hope everyone is safe.**

**Review and let me know if you think I should write more sex scenes or not, please? It will mean a lot to know what you guys think about it, it's my first complete sex scene and I hope I did an okay job. Anyways thanks for reading, until next time :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**This whole chapter is going to be flashbacks so I'm not going to put it in Italics. Oh the girls are 31, they were 16 when they started dating and in the flashbacks for this chapter they are 19 and are in college.**

Spencer paced her small living room, her nerves keeping her from sitting in one spot for too long. Hanna and Aria watched as their best friend paced and bit her nails. "Spencer stop pacing, you're going to wear a hole in the floor."Hanna said unable to watch her friends nervous pacing.

"What if she says no? What if I make a fool of myself? I cant do this, we've only been together for two and a half years, it's too soon."Spencer rambled on, not once stopping her pacing. Hanna stands up and walks in front Spencer, she brings her hand up and slaps Spencer in the forehead.

"Chill out."

Spencer stopped pacing and stared at Hanna, her hand coming up to rub the hand print on her forehead. "Ass."She whispered, finally taking a seat on the coffee table, putting her head in her hands.

"Emily loves you Spence, she'll say yes. She wants to spend her life with you Spencer. If you don't ask her to marry you soon, she's going to go out, buy a ring and ask you herself."Aria said from her place on the couch.

"Maybe I should wait and not ask her in front of her family and friends."

"Maybe you should stop freaking out and just ask her already."Hanna said growing tired of Spencer trying to talk herself out of asking Emily to spend the rest of her life with her. 'I understand its a big deal and she's scared Em will say no but damn girl needs to grow some balls and just ask her already.'Hanna thought.

"Let's see the ring."Hanna said sitting down across from Spencer and next to Aria. Spencer pulled a tiny black box out of her jacket pocket and handed it to Hanna. Hanna opened the box to reveal a beautiful 3 carat diamond ring. The 3 carat diamond sat on a single white gold band, with a smaller diamond on each side, the colorless diamonds had flawless clarity, it was a gorgeous ring that would take any girls breath away.

"Oh my God Spence, this beautiful. Forget Emily, marry me."Hanna said taking the ring out of the box. "You wish Han."Spencer chuckles at her friend and takes the ring from her, handing it over to Aria.

"It's beautiful Spencer, Emily will love it."Aria said staring down at the ring in her hand. "I hope so."Spencer mumbled.

**-oOo-**

Spencer laid awake in bed that night, thinking of all the things that could happen when she asked Emily to marry her. Her mind kept wondering to all the bad reactions Emily could have, she knew she was only freaking herself out and making herself more nervous but she couldn't help it her brain just wouldn't shut off.

She rolled over and reached for her phone that sat on the nightstand by her bed. She picked the phone up and dailed a number she knew by heart. The phone rang a few times before it was picked up.

"Hello?"A sleepy voice answered then yawned a second later. Spencer's lips curled up into a smile at the sound of her girlfriend's voice thick with sleep. "Hey Em, I know it's late but I couldn't sleep and needed to hear your voice."Spencer whispered into the phone's tiny microphone.

The brunette on the other end of the line, smiled to herself and sat up in bed rubbing the sleep from her eyes. "What's on your mind Spence?"Emily asked sleep still thick in her voice. "I miss you."Spencer answered. It wasn't a complete lie, she did miss Emily and she hated that they went to different colleges. Spencer had wanted to go to the same college as Emily, she didn't want to be away from her girlfriend but Emily wouldn't let her give up the chance to go to her dream school University of Pennsylvania. Even though they were only a few hours away from each other, they hardly ever saw one another and that was taking a toll on both girls.

"I miss you too baby, we'll see each other tomorrow."

"It's not enough, it's only two days. I miss being able to spend every day with you, I miss being able to kiss goodnight, I miss holding you."Spencer whispered holding back tears.

Emily hated to hear how broken Spencer sounded but she knew that when they we're older Spencer would thank her for pushing her to go for her dream."I miss it too Spence."

**-oOo-**

"This one if from me."Hanna said handing Emily a box wrapped with purple wrapping paper. Emily sat the box in front of her and tore at the paper. Emily pulled open the box and pulled out the clothing inside. Her face turned a bright red as she stared at the dark red silk corset in her hands.

"I thought I'd get you something Spencer would enjoy as well."Hanna said smirking at Emily and leaning over to give Spencer a high five. If possible, Emily's cheeks got brighter, remembering that her parents and the rest of her family were in the room with her.

"You couldn't give this to me at another time?"Emily asked glaring at Hanna. "Oh please Emmy, it's not like we don't know you and Spencer have sex."Wayne Fields said, earning a slap from his wife.

"Okay Emily last present, you have to close your eyes for this one."Pam Fields said smiling over at her daughter, who sat in the middle of the room around all her friends and family. Spencer sat next to her fidgeting nervously. Pam sent her a smile and nodded at her once Emily shut her eyes.

Spencer moved to kneel on one knee in front of her girlfriend. She pulled the diamond ring out from the box and held ot between to fingers. She looked up at Emily and let out the breath, she didn't know she was holding. Spencer was beyond nervous, she had practiced all the things she was going to say to Emily but now her mind was blank. She couldn't think of a single word to say.

Spencer nodded at Pam, letting her know that she was ready, well as ready as she will ever be. "Open your eyes Emmy."

Emily opened her eyes, confused till her eyes landed on the girl in front of her on one knee. Emily's heart rate picked up as she stared down at Spencer and the diamond ring in her hand. Her eyes went wide and one of her hands moves to cover her open mouth.

Spencer took a deep breath and sent Emily a breathtaking smile. "I had a whole speech ready for this but now I can't remember it."Spencer said, giving a nervous laugh and taking one of Emily's hand in hers. "Before I met you I felt lost, like apart of me was missing then I met you and I knew that you were what was missing. Emily I love you, I've never loved anyone half as much as I love you. I know we're young but I don't care, I want to spend the rest of my life by your side, if you let me. Emily Fields will you marry me?"

Emily couldn't speak, couldn't breath. She had dreamed of spending her life with Spencer, dreamed of the day Spencer would ask her to marry her and now that her dream was coming true, she could speak. She knew she should say something before Spencer started to freak out but she couldn't, no matter how hard she tried no words would past her lips, they all died on the tip of her tongue.

Spencer smile fell as Emily just stared at her. Her heart started to race and she started to have a panic attack. She looked up to her best friends and Emily's parents. "Stay calm, give her time she's shocked."Wayne mouthed to her giving her a smile. Hanna and Aria grinned at her and gave her a thumbs up. Pam stood with her husband, looking at Emily with an worried expression on her face.

"Yes."Came a quiet whisper from Emily. Spencer looked back at Emily, hope filling her eyes. "Yes I will marry you."Emily said pulling Spencer into a kiss. Their lips locked in a heated kiss, tongues fought one another for dominance, handss gripped hips and tangled in hair pulling one another closer.

Everyone in the room clapped and cheered for the two girls but neither girl heard, they were too wrapped up in each other. Spencer pulled back from the kiss and pressed her forehead to Emily's, staring into the brown orbs she fell in love with. "I love you."Spencer whispered, leaning in and giving Emily a quick peak on the lips. Emily beamed at her fiancee and pulled her in for another kiss.

Neither girl had never been as happy as they were in that moment. "Best birthday ever."Emily said earning laughs from everyone in the room.

**Sorry for the long wait, I've been sick the past few days and haven't done much but sleep. I hope y'all enjoy this update. Thank you for reading and reviewing the last chapter and thank you for reading this one as well. Untill next time.**


	9. Chapter 9

"What about adoption?"Spencer asked not looking up from the news paper in her hand. Emily looked up from her breakfast and studied Spencer's face. "You want to adopt?"Emily asked. Spencer looked up at her wife and smiled. "Why not? There are tons of teenagers out there having babies and not being able to take care of them or they just don't want them."

Spencer's tone and face was serious but Emily couldn't tell if she really was. They had never talked about adoption, Emily thought since they didn't talk about it that it was off the table. When Emily didn't say anything Spencer sat her paper down and moved next to Emily.

"This way there would be no what if we lose another baby, it's safe and you won't have to live through lossing another you're not happy, the only time you're not faking a smile is when you're holding Jaiden or Catherine. I just want you to be happy and having a baby whether it's adopted or not will make you happy. Think about it Em, not only will you be happy again, we'll be helping someone who isn't ready to be a parent."Spencer stood and kissed Emily on the head.

It broke Spencer's heart every time Emily faked a smile. Spencer didn't know what to do anymore, she started to doubt if she could ever make Emily happy again. Spencer had been crushed like Emily had, if not more when they lost the baby but she was slowly starting to heal.

She knew that they could never replace the baby they lost, nor would she want to but the need to give Emily a family grew everyday, which lead her to the idea of adoption. She could give Emily the family she deserved and help someone else out too. The idea had been bouncing around in her head for a few days and after finding everything there was about adoption, she finally said something to Emily about it.

It hadn't gone the way she thought, she thought Emily would be happy about the idea but when Emily didn't say anything, she knew that Emily would never go for it.

"Think about it, I have to go to work. I love you Emmy."Spencer whispered then left the kitchen and headed out the front door to her SUV. Emily sat at the table and listened to Spencer shut the car door, start the car up and pull out of the driveway. It was true Emily wasn't happy, even though Spencer had been doing everything in the world to make her happy. Emily couldn't bring herself to be happy.

Every time she was happy, she felt guilty, she felt that she should forever be depressed for the loss of her baby. Emily stood from the table and moved to grab her cell phone. She called Aria knowing the other woman would be free.

"Aria do you want to get some coffee?" "Hello to you too Emily."Aria laughed. "That sounds good Em, Jaiden and I will meet you at the cafe in an hour."

**-oOo-**

An hour passed and Emily found herself sitting in the cafe telling Aria about Spencer wanting to adopted a child. "I think it's a great idea Em, Spencer's right not only would y'all have the family y'all want but you would really be helping someone who is too young to take care of a baby."

"I don't know I'll have to look into it."Emily said taking a sip of her coffee and watching baby Jaiden sleep in her mothers arms. "Spencer has already looked into it if she came to you about it, she's doing everything she can to make you happy Emily, maybe you should do something to make her happy."

"She wants a family as much as you if not more, she's never thought about adoption, not even when she found out she couldn't have kids, she wants to do this to save you any kind of pain Em. Think about it for Spencer."Aria said passing Jaiden over to her Aunt and taking a drink from her coffee.

Emily stared down at the baby in her arms and thought about what Spencer and Aria had said. Was she only thinking of her pain? Was she so caught up in herself that she didn't even thinking of everything Spencer felt and was trying to do for her?

"I'm a horrible Wife."Emily whispered looking up at Aria with a lone tear rolling down her cheek. "Oh Emmy, no you're not things have been hard on you two, y'all will figure everything out." "She's done so much for me and I repay her by thinking of myself, I need to go see her."Emily said handing Jaiden back to her mother and throwing money down on the table for the coffees before standing up and running towards her car.

"I'll call you later, thanks for the talk Ari."Emily yelled over her shoulder as she got in her car. Aria watched her drive away with a big smile on her face. 'She's going to say yes.'Aria thought to herself as she watched Emily drive away.

**-oOo-**

Emily made it to Spencer's work in half an hour. She parked her car and made her way into the building. As the walked through the building, she was greeted by Spencer's co-workers. All of which asked her how she was doing and was quick to give her a hug. The people at the crime lab were like another family to Spencer and Emily.

"Hey Emily, Spencer just left to go to a crime scene, why don't you go wait in her office she shouldn't be too long."Toby, a long time friend of Spencer's said greeting Emily as she made her way towards Spencer's office. Emily smiled at the tall man and followed him to the office.

"How have you been Emily?I know Spencer has been worried about you."Toby said as he opened the door to Spencer's office for Emily. "I've been as good as I can be I guess, I wish Spencer wouldn't worry so much."She said as they both entered the office. Toby took a seat on the couch in the corner of the room while Emily sat in the chair behind Spencer's desk.

"She's always going to worry about you Emily. Your her whole world. When Spencer and I first met, she talked about you the whole time, it was annoying at first but I understand why she talks about you the way she did, she loved you more than anything in this world, she still does."He said giving Emily a comforting smile.

"She wants to adopted and I'm not sure how I feel about that, I want to have a baby, go through everything being pregnant throws at me. I want to give birth to a baby and I want to make Spencer happy and give back to her for everything she's done for me."Emily whispered playing with some papers on the desk in front of her.

Toby was quiet for a few minutes before he looked up at Emily and smiled again. "You can adopt then after a year or so try to get pregnant again. That way you both win and even in you can't get pregnant again or you do and something happens, you still have one child to love and care for. Spencer will be happy as long as you are Emily."Toby said.

The beeper on Toby's side went off causing him to jump up and move to the door in a hurry. "I have to go, feel free to stay as long as you like, I'll get ahold of Spencer and let her know you're here as soon as I can."

Emily moved from the chair and laid down on the couch Toby had just been sitting on. After a few minutes her eye lids started to grow heavy and then closed as she fell into a restless sleep.

**-oOo-**

Spencer walked through the halls of the lab, dropping off evidence as she made her way to her office. "Hastings!"Toby yelled from down the hall stopping Spencer and causing her to turn around towards him. "Yes Cavanaugh?"

"I got the blood test back, no match and your Wife is waiting for you in your office."He said handing Spencer a file. "Run the Dad's and the Brother's, theres something off about their stories. Is she okay?"Spencer asked looking up from the file in her hand. "She's fine Spence. Did you find the weapon at the scene?"

"No, she wasn't killed there. I dropped some evidence off, maybe that will tell us where she was killed. The BD is on it's way, page me when it gets here. I'll be in my office."Spencer said turning and walking away from Toby. Spencer contuined to look through the file in her hand as she entered the office, not noticing that Emily was asleep on the couch.

When she finally looked up and saw Emily, she couldn't help but smile. She loved how peaceful her Wife looked when she slept, she loved the way Emily would curle in a ball and hug a pillow when she slept alone. Spencer sat the file down on the desk and sat on the floor by Emily's head.

She brushed hair out of Emily's face and pressed her lips to the sleeping woman's lips. "Spence?"Emily mumbled slowly opening her eyes. "Hey Love, are you okay?"Spencer asked cupping Emily's cheek. Emily leaned into Spencer's hand and closed her eyes. "I'm sorry for only thinking of myself, you're hurting too I know that and I should be taking care of you like you take care of me."

"Baby, don't worry about it. It was just an idea." "No Spencer, Adoption is a great Idea we shou-"Emily's words were cut off by Spencer's beeper. Spencer looked down at the beeper and saw Toby's number flashed on the screen. "I have to go Love, we'll talk about this at dinner."Spencer said giving Emily a quick kiss then stood up and left the room to find Toby.

**Hey guys, So sorry this took forever to get out, writers block sucks! I hope to get back to updating this story every week again. I hope everyone one had a great Christmas and New you to everyone who has read and reviewed the last chapter. Also thank you for reading this chapter, I love you guys :) Untill next time.**


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